When you are caught in a mess, you typically have exactly one perspective: your own view from the windows of the cart you are stuck with. That's your own view, your inner perspective, your view from here and now. 

Consider the question of how you would like to tell the story a few years from now, how you mastered the current situation. This thought alone can change a lot. The impulse to simply give free reign to your feelings is most likely replaced by the desire to appear competent in the future retrospective. Controlling impulses is suddenly a lot easier.

In mediation, the shift from solution thinking to understanding motivations is the game changer. What do you want to do something for? And what does someone else do something for? The view through the "spectacles of need", which show you the motivations of other people, can be incredibly helpful. Because it can be essential to provide understanding of sometimes incomprehensible behaviour. 

Especially in tricky situations, additional perspectives are helpful in finding a solution. These include considering the distribution of responsibilities, the search for the positive in a negatively perceived situation, and last but not least the look on oneself...


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